| Look, an update. |
[08 Jul 2003|02:57pm] |
I'm really bad at keeping a journal, and no matter how hard I try, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I apologize to anyone who actually reads my updates.
Mark's visit was nice. He's so good to me, and I have no idea how he can put up with me. I'm crazy when I'm around him -- laughing like I'm 13, singing at the top of my lungs (and anyone who's heard me sing knows how horrible I am!), and doing anything that comes to mind. He brings out the child in me, in a good way.
Needless to say, when he left I was a little sad. I just hope we don't have to wait another few months before we see each other again.
Stuart returned from LA a few days after Mark had left and we've finally been able to get over our childish avoidance and talk things out. I'm not sure where things are headed, and I think realistically there's more to talk about, but I'm perfectly content taking things one day at a time.
Now, unfortunately, I need to get back to the set.
Charlize
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[28 Jun 2003|09:23am] |
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Filming, filming, filming. That seems to be all I ever do anymore but I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. Some people would complain about the long hours and the hard work, but I honestly can't imagine myself in any other profession.
Once again I've neglected my journal. But then again, I haven't had anything interesting to write about so I guess it's not that bad that I haven't been around.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mark__wahlberg is here and all I have to say to that is it's about time. There are people you come across in your life with whom you have an instant connection. Mark and I had that connection when we worked together on "The Italian Job" and that connection yielded a beautiful friendship. He is one of my favorite people and I know that everyone will adore him as much as I do.
I need to get back to the set but I'll try to be around more soon.
Charlize
EDIT: __linda is really sweet and everyone should add her. I was able to have a short conversation with her when I was online earlier today and I promised I'd pimp her, so here you go. :-*
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| Subject? What subject? |
[04 Jun 2003|07:08pm] |
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As expected, the premiere of The Italian Job was wonderful. It was great to see the cast again, I hadn't realized how much I'd missed them. But then again, I guess it usually takes seeing someone again after a long time apart to realize those kinds of things.
After the premiere, Ed and I caught the red eye to New York where I stayed until last night. It was nice to get away and spend time with a good friend, especially since it was the first time off I'd had in a while.
However, it's nice to be back. There's something special about the feeling of sleeping in your own bed and being back at home after time away. I guess you could call me a homebody, but I don't see anything wrong with that. :)
I've had a lot on my mind lately, though nothing is worth sharing yet. I'm happy. Content. Pleased. I have a movie out that's doing well, great friends, a loving family, a beautiful home, what else could a girl ask for? Not a whole lot.
Do you ever see or hear something and have your mind jump back to a memory? It's been happening a lot recently, and though the memories are bittersweet, I like that I have them.
stuarttownsend got a journal, and I'm glad he did. I've missed him, and I'll admit, a lot of my recent memories have involved him and the time we shared together.
I've wanted to call him, but something has been holding me back. I guess I'm afraid that he won't want to hear from me, and I've never been one to take many chances. I like to know that I have something soft to land on before I jump. However, maybe seeing him around here will give me the motivation I need to pick up the phone. Or maybe he'll call me first. I guess only time will tell.
Charlize
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[24 May 2003|11:02pm] |
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Now that I finally have a few free minutes with which to do whatever I please, I've decided to post in this thing.
I'm not going to bore you with the publicity details that have made up my past few weeks, but I must admit that I'm glad to be getting a few weeks off after all this is finished. After that it's back to filming my next movie.
I've said it before, but I really do think I need to start meeting more people and mingling around here. Maybe even get on AIM for a while. I'm too tired tonight, but I have a feeling I'll be around tomorrow. Look for me if you'd like to chat. :)
Charlize
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| I'm here... really. |
[07 May 2003|04:46pm] |
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I've been around, I just haven't been posting. I'm not sure why I've been so distant, but I've felt like I've needed to step back from everything and everyone and just focus on finding myself.
See, I felt like I was beginning to spiral down a path which was completely wrong for me. I realized that if I continued to let myself go there would be no turning back. It took a certain comment to open up my eyes. And honestly? I haven't been able to stop thinking about that comment since. So many times I've wanted to reply and explain myself, but I couldn't, and I still can't. I've wanted to sign on AIM, but I haven't for fear that talking to people will start me down that same road.
However, I think I'm ready to become social again. I miss some of the friendships I made around here, one in particular, and I wish I could erase time and go back to the way things used to be, but I can't. So hopefully I'll be forgiven anyway. And if not? Well, then I guess that's what I deserve.
My AIM name is Chrming Charlize, I'm about to sign on, so please IM me, I'd love to chat with anyone. :)
Charlize
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| An Update! |
[26 Apr 2003|02:22pm] |
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So, publicity for The Italian Job has begun and I have found myself without a free moment in weeks. I swear, I love my job, but sometimes I just need a little down time. I think that's something that everyone around here can relate to, am I right?
I was thinking about it, and I think my handsome co-stars need journals. Come on guys, this place is fun.
The good news is, I have the weekend off. The bad news? I have no plans. Does anyone want to grab some dinner or a movie maybe?
Charlize
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| Why can't I ever think of a clever title? |
[30 Mar 2003|03:06pm] |
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I apologize for my lack of updates. I recently began filming my next movie, and unfortunately, work has been taking up a lot of my time.
I'm still around though, so don't worry. :)
I've been good. I'm fully back to my normal, happy self, and it feels great. Part of me still wishes something had happened with Luke, but I understand that he wasn't ready for anything like that. Really, I think that's all I can say on that one.
I talked to Paul this morning and it was good to catch up a bit. I think we're going to hang out on Tuesday. He'll be surprised at how good my surfing skills are getting. ;)
Something he commented about is still ringing in my head. I don't know whether or not he was serious, but I think I want to find out for sure... Cryptic, I know, but hey, it's my journal. :-P
I'm going to go for now, but I'll update soon. I promise!
IM me sometime, okay? Chrming Charlize.
Charlize
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| Mother Knows Best |
[15 Mar 2003|10:09pm] |
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It amazes me that my mother, even though I am all grown up, still has an enormous affect on me. She's always been the kind of person who with one look can make you feel incredibly guilty, incredibly stupid, or incredibly loved. I could write a novel about my mother, but in order to keep this post as short as possible I am going to stop there. Besides, even if I tried, I would never be able to properly express how much she means to me.
My mother and I have this ritual where once a week we talk on the phone. No matter where either of us is, Thursday night at 5:30 has always been our set time. It's such a comfort to know that no matter what's going on, that no matter how crazy my schedule gets, our weekly phone call can always be expected.
This past Thursday was no exception, though it did have a slight twist. Just as I was about to dial my mother's phone number, I heard a knock on the door. I answered the door and to my surprise my mother stood on the other side. I stood there in shock for a second, unable to move. But once I found my voice again, the questions didn't stop. I later learned that she had been planning a surprise visit for a while, and that she had been waiting for a time when I didn't have a lot of work.
We stayed up the whole night talking and it wasn't until about two in the morning that my mother pulled me into her arms and hugged me. But this hug wasn't an "I'm happy to see you" hug. It was a comfort hug, and as I closed my eyes and hugged back, I found myself wondering how she had known that there was something wrong.
But my mother has always been like that. I'm good at hiding my emotions, but my mother has always been the one person who, no matter what, has always been able to read my like an open book.
I told her everything that was bothering me and her next question has not ceased to be on my mind since. "Charlie" she began. "You've never once let something like this get to you before, so why is it now?"
I didn't have an answer.
My mother always knows exactly what I need. She took me out today for a day a shopping, dinner, and then a movie. She got me to laugh again and by the end of the day I felt refreshed and happy. Just having her around is a big comfort.
It figured, however, that the one movie my mother had her heart set on seeing was Old School. I didn't tell her who the guy was when I was confessing my "problem" and while I wasn't sure that watching him on screen for two hours would be a good idea, I didn't argue and I'm glad I didn't. The movie was amazing. I don't remember the last time I've laughed so hard. The entire cast was incredible.
I wish I could say that at some point throughout the day I had a miraculous epiphany, complete with bright lights and music, but I didn't. I still don't have an answer to my mother's question, but I think I'm okay with that. I did, however, decide that I'm not going to push it. I'm going to take each thing as it comes, and live life one day at a time. I realize now that trying to figure things out ahead of time was the wrong approach. I have no idea what is going to happen next, but I like that mystery.
Charlize
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| There isn't a subject to describe this post... |
[12 Mar 2003|06:41am] |
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I have this urge to update, but I feel as if I have nothing significant to say. My mind is filled with a melange of feelings, thoughts, and emotions, yet I can't think of a way to put it all into coherent words.
I've often prided myself on my enthusiasm for life. I take pleasure in the little, insignificant things that a vast majority of people take for granted. I stop and smell the roses and have the ability to find something beautiful in everything and everyone I see and meet. And even though I'm not a child anymore, I'm still able to reach down inside myself and find that inner child. I like that about myself.
More than anything, I like to make people happy in any way I can. I love to see a person's face light up with happiness.
Thus, it pains me to think that I could be the cause of someone's current state of distress and confusion. It's killing me that he's feeling lost. I wish there was something I could do to help him, not only because it's my nature, but because I feel like it's my fault. We haven't known each other very long, and I feel like the happiness he felt on our day together is quickly being replaced with feelings of sadness.
But gosh... if only everyone had seen the way his face lit up when we were together. We laughed, told jokes, acted like children racing up and down the beach. I showed him how to let loose and have fun, and he enjoyed it, I know he did.
Even on that day I saw that there was something he was holding back. It was as if he was afraid to get too close. Afraid that I would hurt him. I don't see how anyone COULD intentionally hurt him. He's an amazing man. I mean that.
I had a long talk with Drew last night, and I don't know what I would do without her. She has been nothing but sweet since I arrived in this Livejournal place, and I am eternally grateful.
So I guess I was right about this entry not having a point. But I think it helped to clear my head a little bit. I didn't go out this morning like usual. I'm still in my pajamas and I don't think I'm going to change out of them today.
I hate to admit it because I've always been okay with being alone, but I'm not anymore. I'm lonely.
Charlize
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| A Wonderful Day |
[07 Mar 2003|03:25pm] |
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Christina Aguilera - Isn't it Obvious |
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Yesterday I had the wonderful privilege of spending all day (litterally) with an amazing man. We didn't do anything spectacular, our day together was pretty normal, but I find myself looking back on it now and realizing how much fun I had.
There's something about luke_wilson that's different from other people I know, though I can't seem to be able to determine what exactly that difference is. I enjoy his company. I can't explain it, but I feel like I can be myself around him. It's as if I've known him for years.
Our day started with an early morning jog and breakfast on the beach. We talked, got to know each other, had some laughs and exchanged stories. The way he tells stories is unbelievable. His facial expressions, hand gestures, and the way he makes eye contact are the tiny, adorable little things that I noticed. *laughs* Do I sound crazy? I hope not.
I also helped him pick out a ping pong table. I STILL can't believe I've met two new people who are as into ping pong as I am! Our day ended with a late lunch at a nice little cafe.
We parted ways in the late afternoon and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I spent the rest of the evening thinking about our day together. I don't remember the last time I smiled so much in one day.
Later, we ended up going out for ice cream, and that added excursion is probably the part I liked best. Part of me really wants to talk about it, but I kind of like the idea of not going into details. So I'll merely say, strawberry and coffee ice cream never tasted so good. ;)
Tonight I think Luke, I, and possibly Owen are getting together for a ping pong match. I personally can't wait. :)
On a different note, I apologize to anyone who's getting sick of my icons, I only bring this up because I'm getting a little bored of them myself. *laughs* Anyway, if anyone is ever feeling particularly generous and feels like getting me a paid account, by all means, go right ahead. :)
Charlize
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| Late Night Post |
[05 Mar 2003|09:59pm] |
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It's late and I should probably be sleeping, but I'm not tired for some reason so I've decided to make a quick update.
I'm spending the day with luke_wilson tomorrow. We got to have a nice chat this evening and I learned that we have quite a bit in common. Oddly enough, ping-pong was one of those things. Anyway, we made plans to go for an early morning jog, watch the sunrise, and have a breakfast picnic on the beach first thing tomorrow morning. I'm also going to help him pick out a ping-pong table to buy, just because I'm nice. ;) Just kidding.
I love how it's sometimes the tiniest things that end up making a day wonderful. I stopped talking to Luke hours ago, but I still find myself anticipating tomorrow. I only hope he's as excited as I am.
I'm going to force myself to get some sleep. Good night everyone. :)
Charlize
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| Random Thoughts |
[04 Mar 2003|05:17pm] |
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I'm not sure as to whether it's because I've been taking more time for myself, or if it's merely the fact that I've been feeling contemplative, but lately I've been thinking about certain things a lot more than I used to. Things that I always prided myself on having complete control over.
Ever since I was little, I knew what I wanted and worked hard to get it. I learned at an early age that most things aren't handed to you on a silver platter. I always thought, however, that once I got what I had worked so hard to get, I'd be satisfied. But I'm starting to think that that's not always the case.
Overall, I'm content, quite possibly even happy with my life. I live comfortably, love my job, have great friends, a loving family, and I both realize and appreciate all I have to be happy for. But for some reason, there's a tiny part of me deep down inside that keeps telling me that something is missing.
What this "missing thing" is, though, I have no idea.
I have begun a new morning routine. I rise before sunrise and quickly change into a bathing suit, grab my surfboard and a towel and make my way down the single flight of stairs directly outside my beach house. Seconds later my feet hit the cool sand and I walk to my usual spot where I lay out my towel and sit, watching as the sun rises.
My mind wanders to various memories and I am overcome with emotions, both happy and sad. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, and the clean, crisp smell of the early morning air rejuvenates my whole body, and soon I am ready to go.
Once the sun has risen, I stand quickly and pick up my surfboard, tucking it under my arm as I walk out to the shoreline, the cold water feeling nice against my feet. I walk out a ways then place my board in the water, laying on top of it before I begin to paddle out, anticipating the wonderful sensation of early morning surfing.
At the risk of sounding completely insane, I think there's something about being out all alone on the beach so early in the morning that soothes me. Especially since I haven't been sleeping well.
Is it crazy that I have this hope that one day while I'm out there I'll suddenly realize what's missing in my life? If I knew what was wrong, I could fix it. But I don't, and I can't.
Does anyone have any advice? I could really use some.
Charlize
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| My First Few Days... |
[26 Feb 2003|10:02pm] |
Wow! The past few days have certainly been worthwile. I've met some great people and it makes me eager to find out how many more wonderful others are around this community.
I'd like to start my post by saying a great big THANK YOU to everyone who introduced themselves and took the time to add me to their friends list. You all certainly know how to make a girl feel welcomed. :)
paul__walker gave me my first surfing lesson the other day, and I'm hooked (on the surfing, not him! ;-) ). I must admit I was having some trouble at first, but with a little practice I got the hang of it fairly quickly. Since he taught me, I've gone out every morning. I think with a little more practice I may even be better than he is! ;-) Give a few weeks, Paul, then we need to go again so I can kick your booty. *laughs*
It's so beautiful being up first thing in the morning. And being in the ocean is almost zen-like. I cannot begin to describe how I feel when I'm out there, or just watching the waves against the sunrise. Early morning is definitely my favorite time of day. Just thought I'd share that.
Well, I'm not sure what else to write so I'm going to go before I get boring (If I haven't already!). I'll post soon! :)
Charlize
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| Another Update |
[23 Feb 2003|04:47pm] |
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I'm happy to report that I've met some nice people around here, and I'm looking forward to meeting more as the days and weeks progress.
Everyone around here seems very friendly, and I'm grateful for that. So to everyone who has been so supportive and helpful, thank you!
I feel like such a loser. I have absolutely no plans for tonight. A few friends invited me to a Grammy party, but for some reason I feel like curling up on my couch with my two dogs and just watching in peace and quiet. I'm not opposed to having guests here with me, I just don't feel like going out to a big party.
If anyone wants to join me, my door is always open. Give me a call, or IM me at Chrming Charlize. I'm online now (and probably will be for a good part of the night)!
Bye for now,
xoxo,
Charlize
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| AIM Name |
[22 Feb 2003|08:53pm] |
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I now have AIM. My screen name is Chrming Charlize. PLEASE IM me. I'm very friendly and I love meeting new people. :)
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| My First Entry! |
[22 Feb 2003|06:07pm] |
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I figured it was about time I got myself an online journal. I know a lot of people who have them, and I haven't heard many complaints.
I'm really bad with intro posts, but I'll try my best. *smiles*
I'm Charlize Theron. I'm originally from South Africa, where I began modeling before moving to the States to pursue a career in acting. You may have seen me in such movies as The Legend of Bagger Vance or Sweet November, though I've been in many more.
I'm really friendly and I love comments, so give me some, okay? I look forward to catching up with old friends, as well as meeting many new ones! :)
I don't have an AIM as of now, but I should get one by later tonight. I'll update with it as soon as I can!
xoxo,
Charlize
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